Reopened Mind

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Posts by Reopened Mind

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  25

  Did You Ever Find The Theolgy of JWs Reasonable?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was a young man growing up in the religion, i would try to defend whatever the understanding of a doctrine was.

  i won a lot of arguments based on the idea that i knew better than anyone i was talking to and defended myself admirably.

  (lol)....eventually, i realized i was in a cult but for many years i was a believer and i had faith that the gb knew more that i could understand..

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  Reopened Mind

  I was first contacted by JW girls in school when I was 14, baptized at 20. I really wanted to live forever on a paradise earth. I really wanted there to be no more wars. I really wanted there to be no more sickness. And so it became urgent to warn people of the impending war of Armageddon in 1975. Their theology appealed to me because it changed; only it didn't change with "new light", it changed with new opinions, opinions of the governing body. I was completely immersed for 38 years until... I found a website in my local newspaper about Jehovah's Witnesses and blood. That was the first stepping stone to learning more and more about the organization I was ensconced in. But I had a big problem---my husband was the presiding overseer. How could I show him what I was learning? As it turns out, he too was harboring his own doubts. We danced around each other for a while until we finally had enough courage to talk frankly. We laid plans and we exited together. My biggest regret (and my husband shares this regret) is that we didn't do this before we raised our children.

  So, to answer your question minimus, yes, at one time I did find the JW theology reasonable because I wanted to live forever in health and peace. Those pesky truths got in the way!

  Reopened Mind
  
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  15

  Starting a X-Cult support group. Any suggestions?

  by Still Totally ADD in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  mrs. add and i have seen a need in our area for this.

  it all started over month ago when she gave her yearly talk on what is a cult at our local uu congregation.

  their was several newcomers in the audience who have recently left the high control cults.

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  Reopened Mind

  Mrs. ADD here, aka Reopened Mind.

  When I gave my "annual cult talk" I emphasized that all cults have the same modus operandi which I illustrated with Steve Hassan's BITE method. Well, the next week two women approached me with their stories of being raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult from which they have exited but their husbands have not. Complicating matters both of them have small children. I suggested we form a support group which would meet at our church. They were glad to have someone to talk to who understood them. As Still Totally ADD said when we presented our idea to the church board they gave us their full support.

  Giordano thank you so much for recommending the book by Eric Hoffer. It sounds like something that would be useful for our group. I knew that President Eisenhower was raised by a Jehovah's Witness mother.

  I would like to add that we are in Jamestown, NY. If anyone is nearby and interested in being part of our group, please pm either me or Still Totally ADD and we will give you contact information.

  Reopened Mind
  
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  33

  My younger brother officially Disassociated today

  by pale.emperor in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hi guys.

  just wanted to share this with you as it's kind of got me worried.

  my brother who was also raised in "the truth™" met me in town today for a coffee.

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  Reopened Mind

  pale.emperor,

  I can't imagine what it's like for your brother to have Asperger's, a family full in the cult, and realize he needs to get out. He is definitely one brave person. He is exceedingly lucky to have you to support his decision, a decision he is obviously capable of making on his own. The fact that his self worth soared when he broke ties with the Borg shows what a destructive, mind-controlling organization it really is.

  I wish you both all the best.

  Reopened Mind
  
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  90

  So my PIMO Younger Brother Tried To Kill Himself Today

  by pale.emperor in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  we all know that this cult will drive those trying to leave to desperate measures, and today by brother was very nearly one of those statistics.

  he slashed his thigh with a kitchen knife and was bleeding out until he called the police.. i got a call on my way home from work from a police officer, coincidentally it was one of my old friends from school who's now a cop.

  he told me my brother is in hospital after an attempted suicide and has lost some blood but will be ok. but i should get to the hospital as he's asking for me.

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  Reopened Mind

  PE,

  You are a brother in the truest sense of the word.

  Reopened Mind
  
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  15

  Making real friends

  by KindEyes in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hiya, firstly i’m new to this website, so sorry if this topic has been covered before.

  i have been out of “the truth” for almost one year.

  i live with my non-witness mother, have an amazing boyfriend, work and am in college.

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  Reopened Mind

  KindEyes,

  What Giordano said is good advice.But I know if you are very shy and introverted as I am you will probably be terrified to take that first step of seeking out a club or a volunteer group. As I said my husband was the more outgoing one. He was the one who took the initiative to visit a new group. When I went with him I could rely on him to carry the conversation. Perhaps your boyfriend will step into that role for you. Yes, it is hard for people with our personality type to make new friends but in the end we tend to make deeper friendships.

  This may be an old cliche, but to make a friend you have to be a friend.

  Reopened Mind
  
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  15

  Making real friends

  by KindEyes in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hiya, firstly i’m new to this website, so sorry if this topic has been covered before.

  i have been out of “the truth” for almost one year.

  i live with my non-witness mother, have an amazing boyfriend, work and am in college.

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  Reopened Mind

  Hello KindEyes and welcome. I like your name. My husband Still Totally ADD told me about your post and suggested I share my thoughts with you. Like you I am a very introverted person. Still Totally ADD and I are in our sixties now and have been in the cult most of our lives, he a born-in, me a convert. Though I hated it I learned to be more outgoing by going in field service and giving regular talks on the ministry school. So when I left the cult at least I could approach people. My husband though is the outgoing one and I rely on him a great deal to take the first step to forming friendships. You say you have an amazing boyfriend. I'm sure you will find him a great source of support.

  Look around at work and at school. Is there anyone you would like to get to know better? Say "hello", give a sincere compliment, ask a question, show interest in the person. Pretty soon you will have a conversation going. Don't be afraid of your JW past. I find many people are intrigued by someone who lived through an unusual experience. Know that not everyone is going to be your friend. You are free to choose who you are comfortable with. Most of all be sincere and be true to yourself.

  As for your toxic JW girlfriends, surely you can see they are using you. You don't need them in your life.

  Best of luck on your journey into the real world.

  Reopened Mind
  
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  34

  Is There a TV Show or Movie That You Just NeverGet Sick Of?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i love the rifleman!

  i’ve seen it a million times and still will watch it !

  and goodfellas, the movie as well as the sopranos.

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  Reopened Mind

  To add to Still Totally ADD's list

  Avatar

  A Beautiful Mind

  all the Star Wars movies

  I don't know why he didn't mention The Big Bang Theory. We watch that almost every night.

  One of my all time favorites, Miracle on 34th Street.

  The Wizard of OZ

  Reopened Mind
  
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  59

  A Little Direction Please

  by Brian J in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'm an active elder, cobe, just got home from the meeting where i handled the treasures part and concluded by announcing a friend of mine has been d/f,.....blah blah blah...and over the last year have woken up.

  i simply cannot spill my guts to my wife and children as it would be family suicide.

  i have zero desire to bash, spread my feelings, or become an "apostate".

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  Reopened Mind

  Brian J,

  My heart aches for you. I was the wife of the PO (before it was COBE) when I started waking up. Having to announce the disfellowshipping of a friend must have been doubly hard. Unbeknownst to me he was also having doubts about the organization. When he questioned the Flood I took this as my opportunity to research and share with him what I found. I know most couples don't start waking at the same time as we did but my point is listen to your wife and offer any support when she indicates any little doubt. Looking back I think we both had had niggling doubts for years prior.

  Others have said to gradually step down from your responsibilities and you have many in your position. Use whatever excuses you have to. At the same time give your wife increasing attention, something you are not able to do as a slave of the organization. Take her out to her favorite restaurant, enjoy a movie together, take walks, help more around the house, whatever your time and circumstances allow. Most of all listen to her and HER concerns and take it from there. Operate from a platform of love and respect.

  I remember when we were full in the cult we would take the family camping each year. We did not go to meetings or do any theocratic activities during that week. I have to tell you my husband was a totally different person, much more relaxed and more enjoyable to be around as the pressure was off. I have this man full time now that we have left and let me tell you our marriage is much better for it.

  Another thing that might help. As we were leaving the cult we lived around my nonJW family. Just being able to talk to them was a great relief. Do you have any friends or family outside the cult? Developing such friendships will make the transition to normal life easier.

  Best of luck on your journey to the outside world!

  Reopened Mind

  ps My husband is Still TotallyADD
  
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  15

  I wonder if their are any parents of theses children on here now .May 22 1994

  by smiddy3 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i know it could be a sensitive subject however we were all once firm believers and could have very well let one of our loved ones die due to what we once believed.. and not to be judgemental on what we would have done or did do in the past ,i sometime wonder if any of the parents or even one parent of the children of the may 22nd 1994 magazine of "youths who put god first " have now regretted their decision to let their children make this decision on their own.. after all these years i find it hard to believe that not one of them have no regrets to what happened to their child.. i can also accept that it would be extremely hard to admit that you allowed your child to make a decision to die on a belief you instilled in them that you no longer now believe in.

  i think that would be very hard to live with and come to terms with.. if any of you are here my heart goes out to you because you have gone through hell and my thoughts/vibes are with you..

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  Reopened Mind

  I am not one of those parents, but I could easily have been. My youngest son was born in 1982 by an emergency caesarean. He was immediately whisked away to the pediatric intensive care unit. The doctor who headed that unit approached my husband and me and informed us that unless we agreed to let our son have a blood transfusion, he would not live the day out. Then we were threatened with a court order. Both my husband and I refused the transfusion on religious grounds. The court order never came about thanks to my sympathetic obstetrician. Long story short, he lived and thrived. For years this cemented my faith that the Jehovah's Witnesses were right. But now I look back in horror at how I was willing to let my son die for this religion.

  Reopened Mind
  
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  116

  What is behind your choice of forum user name?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just curious how we all think.. what prompted or influenced your choice of username for this forum?.

  there are some really amazing names, and it would be great to hear the stories behind them.... mine was nothing fancy.

  i just felt "stuck in a rut too" along with so many others.

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  Reopened Mind

  I began studying with Witness girls at school in my teens. I considered myself very open-minded back then. Unfortunately I was so open-minded as to let in all their propaganda. From that point on my mind shut to all but what was in Watchtower literature. Forty plus years later some cracks developed in my armor and I began opening my mind once again as I began learning "the truth about the truth". Hence, I reopened my mind.

  Reopened Mind